A small setback to my social life this week has been the theft of my mobile phone. I paid 15 pounds for it in London a year ago, and it had no credit on it, so the value to the thief will barely cover 2 days supply of amphetamines, or whatever else he needs so badly. But it is still a minor irritation.
I don't eat out a lot but last night I did so and from the menu I discovered that I was in King Kat Salad Road ! It also appears elsewhere as Kitsarat Road, but I much prefer the former. Exact translations from Lao into English are a problem as the Lao alphabet is totally different, comprising 30 consonants and 28 vowels. It seems that you will have little difficulty with Lao if you speak Pali or Sanskrit, but these appear not to be core subjects in English schools. Restaurants (or the kind that I go into, anyway ) don't mind you taking in a bottle of wine; the concept of "corkage" is quite unknown. But if you do, its not a bad idea to take your own corkscrew, since delays might occur while the staff try to open the bottle with any implements that come to hand in the absence of a corkcrew, (Screwcap bottles are still not seen here), before sending a boy on a bike to get it opened at the posher restaurant down the road. Last night we had to settle for the old hotel room expedient of pushing the cork down in the bottle, from which you can probably make an accurate judgement about the quality of the wine itself.
Other observations about language are the shop sign which says "Whole-tailer. Re-tailer. Dresses". Seems just the place for an entire new outfit, and a comment about Hmong language. Hmong people use the same alphabet as we do, but they use all our neglected letters..like X and Y and Z, so that trying to read it is quite hopeless; a message in Hmong looks like one of those crazy messages you get when your computer can't open a file.
On the subject of eating out, I think that it is time to reveal one of Laos' most guarded culinary secrets. People (some people) here DO eat dog. I have met 2 people who seemed quite relaxed about having eaten it and one described it as "very nice'. Also, last week I stopped at a rather remote roadside stall to buy some water, and there was some stew on the go. I asked about the contents, and having done all the farmyard noises imaginable, was able to satisfy myself that it was "woof woof" and not "quack quack" that was in the pot. I doubt that dogs here are bred for eating since they all seem to be mixed bred; it seems more likely that they are stolen. I had been toying with getting a dog, but in the absence of proper veterinary care, and now, as I discover, the possibility of it ending up in the soup, I think it might be as well not to bother. There has been a suggestion that I might get a monkey, which would be lovely in many respects, but getting the balance right between giving it a decent life and maintaining reasonable security and supervision is probably beyond me.
The other day I was speculating with one of you about how many flying hours I am from a pork pie. I don't think China, Thailand, Burma, Vietnam or Cambodia are likely sources, so I guess it will be quite a trek. I think maybe a national newspaper might like to sponsor the Great Pork Pie Race, with teams gathering in Melton Mowbray at dawn with a brief to be the first to deliver a pie in good condition to Luang Prabang.
I made slightly disparaging noises last week about the local oranges. I would like to even the score by speaking up for the most humble looking local apples. Not those tasteless ones that come individually wrapped to preserve their delicate skins; these are good worthy working class apples that would never make it to UK or US supermarkets, being uneven in size and shape. They are quite the nicest apples I have had in years; reminiscent I suppose of a Cox's Orange Pippin flavour, if not looks.
Looking at the river a day or two back, it is evidently much lower than it should be at this time of year. It seems maybe 3 metres or so below its natural high point, and as mentioned earlier, the rainy season is drawing to a close. We had a couple of storms this week, but there has not been a morning when I have not been able to have breakfast outside and only about one evening when eating dinner outside has not been possible. Most days it is still very hot and sticky from about 12 to 4, but the mornings and evenings are very pleasant. Typically for 7am breakfast it's about 24 degrees and about 26 for dinner.But in the morning by the time I have had my second coffee and checked emails it's getting towards 35 degrees or more, so unless there is a breeze, it's soon time to retreat.
I know you are used to duff information being given out on here, so I don't really need to apologise for giving you misleading figures for the temperature here. Today, having written the above, I kept a close eye on the temperature on my balcony (admittedly a suntrap) but I was astonished at these readings
10.am 43 degrees
10.30 am 47 degrees
11. am 46 degrees
11.30.am 49 degrees
12.30.pm 42 degrees
1.30.pm 39 degrees
2.30.pm 35 degrees
3.30.pm 33 degrees
4.30.pm 31 degrees
7.30.pm 24 degrees....curiously, 24 degrees seems quite cool!
Those of you who study the moon and the stars will realise that this photo was taken a couple of weeks ago, but it got left behind and I was too pleased with it to to bin it. I think it must have been taken at about 8.30pm.
One bad habit among Westerners is our inclination to say that all foreigners look alike. Well, I now see the truth in that, and can confirm that for the most part, all falangs here do look alike. The female of the species is aged 22, fair and tall, but carrying a few too many kilos, mostly around her shoulders, which are always exposed, and her backside, which thankfully is not, but which ill fitting trousers do little to improve. The male wears ethnic-look wrap around trousers and a tee shirt saying 'Same Same' on the front. He is taller and slimmer than his female companion and trying desperately to grow a beard, but failing badly. There is an older version too, but suspecting that most of my readers are over 40, I will only observe that if you are a 50 something male with stomach to match and with a propensity to wear shorts and a bumbag, you will fit in nicely.
By the way, the other morning a sparrow (yes, just like the ones in UK) stopped by and sat on the end of my bed. I think that is the first time that has ever happened to me; it must be full of symbolism ! I know that in the Ponsavan area they place special sparrow traps on the top of the hills. The birds thus caught are placed in some form of alcohol and marinated for about 3 weeks after which the result is bottled and sold. I have not yet had the opportunity to to try it; I think the demand for it is quite localised. Whether my village sparrows are at risk in any other way I am unsure, but they seem plentiful, so possibly they are small enough not to be bothered with.
One piece of Lao etiquette which is quite charming, but which I almost always forget to observe is that if you pass someone who is sitting down you should bow slightly, or at least nod your head as in a statement that "I am maybe be standing above you for the moment but I am no greater nor more important than you". But don't be fooled into holding a door open or standing back to let someone pass; it's curious how such a graceful people will cheerfully trample you underfoot in the rush.
These photos are left overs from the austerity blog and are, rather obviously, from the boat racing. The pop star is in photo 2 and 3. You can judge for yourself how much cause he had for concern about his appearance; though I have to say he does look short of stature, given that I am only about 5ft 9. But, remind me; what is that they say about short men?
Oh no!!!!! Firstly, I am told that the apples (see above) are not Lao but that they are imported from China. And then, we have yet another death. I know it sounds churlish in the face of personal tragedy but I had not budgeted for $100pa for others' funeral costs. I don't know what the birth rate is in the village, but I hope it is holding up well, or if things continue like this we shall cease to exist in a few years time.
Alan
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