And the winner.....

as expected; was Hat Hieng; though the gap had closed by the finishing line and it took the judges some while to sober up enough to decide the outcome. The races had everything you hope from  great sporting event, sunshine, crowds, music, beer, dodgy food  and teams behaving badly. We had objections, sulks and non-triers. Many of the latter were teams drawn against Hat Hieng, who expcting to lose anyway, didn't bother, saving their energies for lesser teams. This meant that HH had a an easy passage to the final and were able to rest up for an hour or so while their opponents were working up a lather struggling to reach the final.

I went over to the far side of the river. In UK racing parlance that would have been the "Popular Enclosure"; with no VIPs,suits or tourists; just Lao families, music and the aforementioned beer and dodgy food. I avoided the most popular food item, boiled eggs with the chick inside (see below) However, you can also see I managed to look the part  (or was that "the prat" ?).

To my surprise the boats were not identical either in size or configuration. Some had over 50 oarsmen and some about 30.The numbers of helmsmen also varied from 1 to 4 or 5, while some boats opted for what I thought to be a  rather superfluous cox at the front doing nothing except urging his team on. Still maybe he has many roles, praying being one of them. The other surprise for me was that the team I featured last week, after an an early set back came through and did quite well, coming (I think ) fourth.

Its curious how fortunes change; this year, Hat Hieng had so many sponsors that they raced in different shirts for each race. Three years ago their own event would not have gone ahead without LEOT stepping in to offer modest but sufficient support. Oh well, we spotted a winner there !

Its not all been racing this week; well not quite all.

This tale will be known to anyone familiar with Laos but amongst all the fun and excitements it is worth remembering. I was stopped by a lad trying to sell me a boat trip, but clearly his heart was not really in it and mostly wanted to practice his English. He is 18, moved to LPB when 16 to further his education. Right now he works  7 days a week, 14 hours day, 7am to 9pm selling tickets. Next week he cuts his hours back to finish at 3.30pm so he can get to College for 4pm and attend classes until 8.30.For this he receives $30 a month out of which he pays for a shared room, eats and pays his College fees. Just one of so many tales one hears every week.

The weather in LPB is unchanged; only a little rain, and an occasional unconvincing attempt at at storm. But I have had to come to Vientiane to renew my visa and here it is very wet, and quite cool...and I only brought one long sleeved shirt. To quoae one of our students it is raining Cat and Dog, and has been for over 12 hours now

 Its been quite a trip already.

The bus, which should take 8 hrs (but usually takes 9 or 12) took a record breaking 12 hours !  (Its $12 rather than $100 on the plane, so in one sense  not a hard choice really). I arrived at 9pm without a hotel; my usual one having not responded to 2 booking requests. I picked a name more or less and random and asked tuk tuk driver to take me. Not a good move !  It was on the outskirts of town down an ill-lit lane, and also had a Night Club attached !    (To be fair, the Night Club looked just the place for a quiet night in; I could see the Bournemouth Ladies Bridge Club holding their next overseas convention there). But the restaurant was closed, with no signs of  nearby one, and they wanted money up front. So I left.

That too was not a great move. It was so far out that there were no tuk tuks. I walked back into town, about 40 mins in the rain. On the way I was offered "assistance" twice. Firstly from a young man in a bus shelter who wondered if I might like to step inside and join him for some fun. Fun?  In a bus shelter???  Has anyone ever had fun in a bus shelter? If so, please do tell us by adding a comment to this blog.  The next offer was  from a scantily clad young lady on a motor bike, who offered to take me back to my hotel. At that point, not having a hotel seemed a good enough reason to decline her kind offer. I ended up at my usual hotel just after 10pm and they had a room, no problem. In fact they only seem to have about 4 guests, but I suppose that is to be expected if they don't reply to booking requests.

Anyway...today, big breakthrough in local transport arrangements. The start of a motorbike taxi service...and I was one of the very first users.  Hooray !  Fame at last. On the plus side...nice new bikes, clean helmets, and very close police supervision. Downside; there was no fare structure..."pay what you like" I was told...not really that helpful, but very Lao ! But there were other drawbacks.

The driver, whose first client I was, had 2 alarming habits. First, he wanted to keep taking photos of me, and I preferred him to keep both hands on the bike. Then things  deteriorated. He kept fondling my thigh and it was rather hard to explain that I would rather he did not. (With no common language, traffic noise and us both wearing helmets with visors down against the rain I felt that saying "Sir, kindly desist; what kind of a boy do you take  me for? I am not the kind of boy who has fun in bus shelters" would not be effective). But he did stop after a while, although only to move my left hand and place it gently around his waist  and pat it into place !   I thought if he moved my hand another 2 inched downwards, I would jump ship at the next lights.  I hit on the ruse of keep having to use my left hand to adjust my visor, scratch my chin, remove a hankie from my pocket, and generally keep it out of harm's way.

Anyway, all that aside it was fast and efficient.

I asked the driver to wait an hour or so while I left the country, entered Thailand, left Thailand and re-entered  Laos. In fact it took 70 minutes. And when I got back I wasted 30 minutes looking for him. I gave up and with 12 Lao people shared a 9 seater tuk tuk which was great value at 10,000 kip  ($1).  It was quite an entertaining trip, as many of my fellow passengers had crossed the border to buy various items for sale and the tuk tuk became an impromptu  market place and they bought and sold  goods from each other. Also, I was not indecently assaulted once on the return trip, though I decided that if the nice Lao lady next to me wished to, on this occasion I would indulge her. I asked to be set down at the motorbike taxi rank. I did not want the driver to think that I was not going to pay him; in fact I wanted him to know for sure, that I was not going to pay him !   He looked a bit embarrassed when I turned up, and  he made pointing signs at his watch. He must be the first Lao person I have met so concerned with over-running by 10 minutes. But maybe he had  a 12.30 assignation with an old age pensioner in a bus shelter; clearly an opportunity not to be passed up.

Somehow, this does not sound a bit like Grahame Greene's or Paul Theroux's  accounts  of Vientiane in he 50s and 60s; still, I live in hopes.

Back in LPB, the elephant teeth saga has inched forward. We could not visit the site of the find, as the river was now much higher, but the French expert was swiftly able to tell that the elephant had died aged 20 with a brand new set of teeth, (They get through 6 sets in a full lifetime). He hopes that the Asia Elephant Museum will buy the jaw and teeth, which would be a the perfect outcome. It would mean that he family will get a little money, the find will go on display and I will not have to sneak into Cambodia late at night with a bag of elephant bits.

Can anyone tell me if Lao people really are the worst singers in the world ?   Has anyone heard anything more painful than  a Lao vocalist reaching for that note ? It's seldom a near miss; usually its  mile off. I can only think that a visit to a Lao Karaoke Bar must be regarded by any human rights body as a "cruel and unusual punishment".  (Sorry Teng  and Det, I am sure you have lovely voices! )

OK; lots more to tell, but I must not ramble on for ever

See you next week.

Alan