Post early for Christmas

Now there have been some suggestions that certain parts of my blogs have been written with the assistance of LaoLao so I have taken the precaution of briefing my solicitors to deal promptly  with any  repeat of this canard with regard to what follows. But, just look for yourselves at these photographs.

Whoever would have thought that Kylie would be represented on the walls of Wat  Xieng Thong? But there she is, in a rather fetching outfit.  I must look more carefully at the original mosaic to see who else might be making an expected appearance.

The weather has been a little less predictable this week, with the rain coming at different times and we have had had more ran during the day. But I have become aware that what I am describing is very much a "micro climate"; the weather varies considerably across the city. We  have had a couple of days when it has been very hot; up to around 40 or so by mid afternoon, but on the whole its been high 20s/mid 30s. As before, I think the low cloud cover is having a cooling effect. It feels as though maybe the rains are easing back a bit, but given my record in making such statements, we can assume the heavens will soon open. I  also assume that the prevailing direction of the wind may have changed, in that this morning, for the first time ever I could hear the monks' early morning chants.

 I have had a quiet week; so nothing new there.
These week's vendor was selling parcels of cold noodles wrapped in palm leaves; they looked very nice until you opened them. We had another Buddha day, which seemed to be a day off work to party and drink Beer Lao for many people, which seems an excellent arrangement. I did not give alms this time as I have decided that it makes more sense to offer them on non-Buddha  days when the monks do  not necessarily have very much in their bowls, rather than contribute to the twice monthly surplus.

I have spent part of the week trying to work out what to do with the elephant jaw. It would have been much easier, I suspect had it been a dinosaur after all. The elephant here has historical, cultural, and religious significance. I have also been reminded of the various International Treaties dealing with the sale and disposal of ivory  and other elephant parts. It seems that the Lao authorities may be more enthusiastic in pursuing their obligations in this  area than they are with observing their commitments under say, Human Rights Agreements; but with regard to the latter, one lives in hope. There is a Asian Elephant Centre here, but right now it seems to be doing duty as a laundry and the French guy that runs it "is power off" when I ring his mobile. I imagine he has gone home for  a while, so clearly is not a Parisian, since it is August when no self respecting Parisian is seen in his home city.

My plants are looking a little worse for wear right now. This could be seasonal,or to do with the quality of the soil they are in. I doubt that there is a term in Lao for "Potting Compost", and even if there is, to ask for some would be further evidence of the craziness of falangs in general and this one in particular. The condition  of thee plants also owes something to the lady shown here, who has a very keen interest in the local flora.

There been mutterings from some quarters that they want to hear more about my builders; happily there is little to report, but here is a little extract from a book called "Merde,actually", about the problems with builders in France.
"They're all in the global conspiracy. From Tunbridge Wells to Turkmenistan, they use the same techniques- Taking a Deposit Then Buggering Off for a Month. Leaving the Water Disconnected the Whole Weekend. Making Sure the Pipes are Inaccessible So That the Tiniest Leak Means You Have to Smash Every Tile in Your Bathroom." That is not blow by blow, my experience exactly, although the same sense of frustration is evident.
But I think I might owe the builders a (very) slight apology. I complained of their eating all my fruit and whatever other  food was lying around. It seems likely that my complaint may just have shown cultural ignorance on my part. I think I have worked out that if  there is  food out on display, there is an invisible sign above it saying " come and share - help yourself". If this is so, then it is charming, rather than a source of aggravation.  The big test of this theory is when I go into some body's house and help myself, which I don't I think I  am quite brave enough to do yet.
Anyway, today I have a team of electricians in to do the electrical snagging work. Now, there's teams and there's teams. The term here is used loosely to describe one of our  students and  a colleague from his college, another student to do the shopping and ask me questions about the History of Phonetics and yet another of our students to do the translations.  But they are still learning the trade and have much to learn.  No-one, so I am reliably informed, has yet sucked his teeth and said, "Cor, who did this for you mate ?" And receipts which look wholly convincing  have been supplied for  very modest sums. They did contrive to leave with one small job to complete, but that shows promise for the future.

It may appear from the photo that one student is standing on the head of another; whilst there were some working practices that might just not pass the scrutiny of the UK Health and Safety Executive, the photograph on this occasion is misleading. One manoeuvre  though which did cause me some anxiety was their declining the offer of a ladder, in favour of standing on the banisters at the head of the stairs.
 I had to force a small sum of money on the team, which we agreed in the end should be deemed to be for petrol. However I now know more about the History of Phonetics than I ever imagined I might want or need to know. If there are pub quiz nights here my role will be invaluable. ( "Question; what is the connection between the founder of Phonetics and an Italian sandwich ?"     Banker for my team!)
By the way, "Blog", is a new and rather unattractive noun; has it already become acceptable to use it as a verb?

The pink guitarist  (well, he is  not pink, but you know what I mean ) has been silent for a few days.Strangely,  among the Thai TV Soaps and Chinese ( I think) pop music being broadcast from next door, was a Christmas Carol Concert.  including "in the Deep Midwinter". Maybe they wanted me to feel at home?  I am aware though, of curious ideas here about Christianity  and the various festivals that it celebrates. I think it was in Bangkok one October that I saw in a shop window, under the sign saying "Happy Christmas", the familiar figure of Father Christmas in the unfamiliar position of being crucified. Still,despite serving a number of years as a choirboy, "a voice like silver "; I never quite got  the hang (oh...sorry ) of  the details of Christianity either.

I went to the market with one of our students. It was rather different  from going to  the Deli Counter at my local supermarket in the UK. I wanted some beef (aka buffalo) and we discussed the price, which was 35,000 kip for a kilo.  I said I would have about 20/25,000 kips' worth. That was not good enough; "Which?  20, or 25 ?".  I said,well, you know; however it comes out, but in that general area.   "You want 20 ?, or 25? she will cut what you want." I settled for "about 25". She  sliced some meat, handed it over and I asked how much?  General bemusement at such a stupid question.  "You asked for 25,000 didn't you? So that's what it is...ok?"
So why do Sainbsury's  charge me for 350 grammes of chorizo when I asked for 200? ( A fact of course which I only notice when at the checkout)

Finally, this week; I typed in , or so I thought, BBC Cricket and went to make coffee. On my return to the screen it was showing  FOOKIN MAIL.INFO.  Subtitled  "Find Asian love in Lao PDR.", just in case I had not got the message, I was invited to "try the hottest online Asian dating site today". I have not yet accepted the invitation, but who knows, I may be grateful for it one day. I was particularly impressed by the formality of using the term Lao PDR, rather than the more usual, but incorrect Laos, so maybe it is a government sponsored site? Possibly more research is required.

Alan