(As an experiment I did today try a different form of retaliation...but Kylie Minougue seems not to present the same deterrent effect.)
The rainy season is now well and truly upon us. For those unfamiliar with the monsoon here, it is not as bad as you might think. Yes, it does rain, almost every day, but not all day; usually we have a ferocious downpour for 2 or 3 hours. Last night it arrived about midnight as I was settling down to listen to some cricket commentary; eventually I had to abandon it as the noise of the rain on the roof drowned out the commentary. If you get caught in it, you are soaked to the skin within seconds, but usually you get 20, 30, maybe 40 minutes notice of the rain. And you also get the payback of a cool morning.
(But of course, as soon as one makes a definitive statement, one is proved wrong; it has now been raining on and off for about 36 hours.)
I have mentioned insects in the past and I briefly return to the topic. I have always had a certain admiration for the ant. It is diligent, well organised (yes,even the Lao ant !) and very useful. It is fascinating to watch a team of them dispose of the body of an insect maybe 50 times their size. But the other day regrettably I had to reach for the spray can. My kitchen floor was absolutely alive with them; I don't think I have ever seen so many. Their arrival....goodness knows where from...was according to one theory, occasioned by my cooking chips the previous night; the ants taking a particular interest in the cooking oil (soya bean oil). But that incident apart the insects are not so numerous; certainly I can go to bed without finding it already occupied by insects great and small.
The Mosquito Man has been round though. I get a little nervous when people arrive at my door with the dreaded clipboard; but after some confusion we were on the same wave length. I said, no I was not greatly infested with them, a tick went in the box and they moved on. Next day the follow up team arrived, looking like something out of a 1950s B scifi film. They had grey, one piece overalls and masks, with a large canister on their back and long hoses, from which emerged some noxious fumes as they made their way up and down the lane spraying the hedgerow and verges and filling everyone's house with whatever it was that they wore masks against.
Those of you who know me well know that I lack the the creative ability to make up any of these trivial anecdotes, so if any of them stretch your credibility, please be aware that they stretch mine too. Today I paid my regular visit to the temporary monk, of whom a little more below. I report two interesting events. Firstly, I was introduced to the only nun attached to the temple. If the number of nuns is a little limited then the same cannot be said for their longevity. I was assured that she was 120 years old! I don't know what a 120 yr old lady would be expected to look like; a bit like this lady I would guess. But despite her corpse-like appearance she had full command of her faculties, which only served to increase my doubts...but there you go, I am in no position to challenge what I was told.
The other thing to emerge was that the previous day there had been a late night (well, 11pm is late here) plain clothes police raid on the temple! I assumed that it was a drugs raids, as I know that particular temple has had some troubles in that regard. But, no; upon the Law entering one of the dormitories, ladies were found, providing entertainment for a group of monks. I don't know if they were, ahem, professional ladies, but they were, I understand not discussing the finer points of the Dhamma,and they and the monks were hauled off to the police station, which has the advantage of being almost next door. I guess that offending public decency or some such charge is what they might be thought guilty of. Whilst one can quite understand the Temple Authorities of taking a dim view of things, the involvement of the law is a little curious.
Returning to the TM, he has been prevailed upon to extend his stay by a further week and his stay is starting to affect the Shiel economy, as deliveries of ice have on recent visits not been sufficient in themselves and supplies of Pepsi and instant noodles are now required. I think so far that I have supplied 72 packets of the latter (for those who care, mostly prawn flavoured) and am starting to hope that the road to nirvana might be paved with instant noodles, though I have no recollection of them being mentioned in the Dhammapada. ( When I went to spellcheck that I was offered dumped,decamped and rather amusingly, given the paragraph above, humped. )
I have still not visited my own village temple. Its not the most impressive of buildings and is reached by a startling steep slope which is a bit off-putting. The 4am performance from the drum tower is usually rather lacklustre ,as if some poor reluctant youth has been dragged from his bed and sent up the tower. But the afternoon performances are sometimes quite impressive with bells and cymbals helping to make for a pleasant sound.
I have had a number of curious, not to say frustrating conversations of late. I have shared one with one of you tete-a-tete, but here are two others, firstly a phone call, the second shopping.
RING, RING
A.Sabaidii
K. Sabaidii, Alan, K here.
A.Hi, sorry I didn't call you back on Sunday, I lost your contact number.
K. Who?
A. Your number, I lost it.
K. Who is she? Do I know her?
A. Er, there is no She, I was just saying that I lost your phone number
K. I don't know her.
A. Well, I am not sure we are quite understanding each other. I lost your number and could not ring you back
K. Yes,but I don't think I know her.Where is she?
A. No, I was just explaining why I did not ring you back
K What is her name?
A. (Silently,,,oh f**k,) rings off.
At pineapple stall;
A.How much?
SH. 3 (meaning 3000 kip)
A. Great, I'll have 2 please.
SH, No...3
A. Yes, that's fine, I am ok with 3000, I will take 2
SH.Not 2, is 3.
A, No I just want 2
SH 3
A.OK, (lifting up 2 pineapples),I will take these 2.
SH. No,No...is 3
A, Look..I just want 2; here is the money ,OK?
SH, No, No, is 3
A.Forget it.....
As might be obvious from the latter, my Lao language skills still are still to take off. The latest setback was my teacher becoming ill and not being able to visit me for 10 days. He had a fever, and and employed a very impressive 3-prong approach to cure. First was go to hospital for western (in fact most of the medical staff are Cuban) medicine, which took the form of 2 days on a drip. Second was a traditional cure administered by auntie, which involved bleeding (echoes of 18th Century quackery here?); he had blood removed from each of his fingers and toes. Then, to be on the safe side the spirit of his dead uncle was appeased. Uncle appears not to have a great appetite beyond the grave, so only a small meal was prepared, but he does still enjoy his cigarettes so some had to be left out for him. And, sure enough, come the morning he had been and taken them. Thus appeased, he seems to have interceded in some way and the fever was lifted. Well, if it works... Interestingly, well maybe for one of you, part of the recovery regime requires him to drink hot water (see "Roots of Ayurveda", pages 47/48).
As I write this, the last bits of scaffolding are finally being removed from the back of the house and the builders' rubble cleared from the metre wide strip between mine and next door's house. I can't think that it offers any possibilities in the way of a garden, lacking any direct unlight, but it will be good to get it tidied up initially and then it can be used as space to store all my Beer Lao empties between recycling episodes, the arrangements for which remain a complete mystery to me. Anyway, it does seem to signify that the house is now officially finished...apart from being connected to the mains water supply, that is.
Last thing today; I have an answer to the 5.45 delivery man query. He delivers freshly baked bread, and one of these mornings I must make the effort to get up and buy some.
Alan
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